[THE WAY RANG'S EMOTIONS ARE ALSO CLAMPED DOWN, except instead of being trained -- it's just like he tipped them all into the endless void of his usual apathy and depression, like he just crawled under god's green earth and decided to lie there.]
I was at the salon, but we didn't find anything besides a bottle missing from the nail polish there.
[it's very dry like 'wow congrats guys' except self-inflicted,]
[at that he's silent, he thinks about love and how intimate he knows of it -- matsui's words, that only someone who can love can hate in equal measure. he thinks of matsui barely holding, and logically -- what the most probable thing that will come out of it.]
I don't think we're going to survive, Yuzuriha.
[just calmly, with a bit of acceptance.]
Even if Matsui manages to live until execution -- if by some miracle he doesn't kill who did it and get voted himself -- he won't want to hold on. And since it's only us now, my fate is chained to his decision.
[ ...she listens to him intently, and for once something barely noticeable ripples to the surface of the placid detachment she carefully presents.
it isn't sadness, or despair, but something deeply, quietly angry. but it passes with a measured breath, with a single blink.
she's objective enough to believe there will be no closure for matsui gou, short of his own death. objective enough to understand that some rules can't be bent.
[it's just as well. if yuzuriha had shown grief, then rang wouldn't have known how to process it. not when he'd been inundated by matsui's for what felt like hours. he feels too wrung out to recognize it in anyone else,
still. he recognizes anger, and it draws up some of his rage from earlier, reminding him that there is someone out there he can blame -- and that brings some of the life back to his eyes. a smile forming, sharp]
Don't be. [...] This is what I wanted after all -- for the others to be gone, so I can do whatever I like.
If by some chance I'm still alive until next Thursday, even with Matsui gone, then I won't go down alone.
[he can be the villain one last time, so that everyone doesn't feel too sad about him being dead. he thinks he can manage that, at least]
[it's a valid question, and one that rang thinks of for a moment, and then he sighs]
...If there's a chance, then I'll have to take it. I made a deal with Matsui after all, from the very first week. That if they died, then I'd use the points to try and bring Buzen back.
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no subject
I was at the salon, but we didn't find anything besides a bottle missing from the nail polish there.
[it's very dry like 'wow congrats guys' except self-inflicted,]
And you?
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Nothing, I'm afraid. [ even less than what rang's found.
a pause. ]
How's Matsui. [ sorry rang probably has to answer the same questions 982374982374897x tonight. ]
...Buzen said he'd break, if anything were to happen to him.
cw: suicidal ideation
He tried. I don't know if I said anything that convinced him not to.
[he doesn't think he did anything to help at all,]
But I won't let him break until we find out who killed him.
no subject
He loved Buzen more than anything.
[ it's obvious, even more so this week. she could feel the force of it, a love potent enough to drown out an ocean of grief. ]
Good. Keep him together.
...For your sake, too. [ they're down to two. ]
no subject
I don't think we're going to survive, Yuzuriha.
[just calmly, with a bit of acceptance.]
Even if Matsui manages to live until execution -- if by some miracle he doesn't kill who did it and get voted himself -- he won't want to hold on. And since it's only us now, my fate is chained to his decision.
no subject
it isn't sadness, or despair, but something deeply, quietly angry. but it passes with a measured breath, with a single blink.
she's objective enough to believe there will be no closure for matsui gou, short of his own death. objective enough to understand that some rules can't be bent.
she nods, without argument. ]
...I'll do what I can tomorrow to help.
[ ... ]
I'm sorry it had to be this way.
no subject
still. he recognizes anger, and it draws up some of his rage from earlier, reminding him that there is someone out there he can blame -- and that brings some of the life back to his eyes. a smile forming, sharp]
Don't be. [...] This is what I wanted after all -- for the others to be gone, so I can do whatever I like.
If by some chance I'm still alive until next Thursday, even with Matsui gone, then I won't go down alone.
[he can be the villain one last time, so that everyone doesn't feel too sad about him being dead. he thinks he can manage that, at least]
no subject
but then again, if they had been different people, they would've never arrived here, wouldn't be having this conversation. ]
...Maybe there's a chance you could join another team.
[ (im truly grasping a straws at 1:40AM in the morning) the rulebook never said anything explicitly against changing teams... ]
If you've had your fill of the game, though, I understand.
no subject
...If there's a chance, then I'll have to take it. I made a deal with Matsui after all, from the very first week. That if they died, then I'd use the points to try and bring Buzen back.