[YOU JUST ASSIGNED HIM DOTING BOYFRIEND i mean i guess but that's not relevant here,
buzen's probably watching one of the screens, just eyes focused on it like that'll help him understand anything, or get any closer to the people he wants to help comfort]
Think that's why they went after Lam-san too? [ . . . ] They both hit pretty hard.
[that's bc he is.... he is also doting boyfriend to everyone in the game, look at how he wants to help them.....]
It could be.
Or it could be that they were both strange, and that was reason enough. It's amazing how easy it is to justify erasure, especially when you don't understand the person you're killing.
[libby-san.......... he wrinkles his brow a little, but he also expected this from buzen....]
I don't think they are either. They're very easy to understand.
[in that they have a lot of things in common with rang, not the worst things about him though]
For example, I thought Lambda would be very upset after learning why Libby erased you, and she was. If Matsui hadn't executed her, then I'm sure Lambda would have wanted to do it in his stead.
[rang's face immediately contorts -- and there is such a flash of anger in his eyes... maybe indistinguishable compared to how angry he's been since waking up here. but for once, he pauses. he thinks -- should I? when they're both dead? when even Matsui probably doesn't know, and if he had -- then would he tell Buzen? no, not if it meant it hurt him.
he thinks of lambda, and wonders if she'd tell buzen. or if shenhe would. both impassive at first glance, but caring, full of affection in some ways -- all the right ones.]
Not exactly.
[if only libby hadn't tried to be kind. what was the point of kindness if you still tried taking their life? what was the point of telling buzen he mattered if he didn't matter enough?]
It's because she knew about you. That you weren't sure of your existence, as a weapon and as yourself. She weighed your life against those who were certain, and used that to make her choice.
[the syllable leaves him in a breath, something slow and ever so slightly pained. it's not emotionshare anymore at least. there is a flicker of something in buzen's expression - hurt that passes through his gaze. it is worse than breaking a weapon first. it is more painful.
it is the decision of a human that those not remembered by history, not protected and treasured by humanity, are not worthy of knowing. buzen is a sword lost and forsaken, remembered only by name yes - but how many more humans in the world are similarly never remembered? how many more people and souls are treated as though they never made a mark, simply because they are not known?
if someone remembers you, then you exist.
if no one remembers you, then what happens? was a question buzen was once asked. he didn't know the answer.
he doesn't know the answer to this puzzle either: is it less cruel to destroy a sword that is only known by name, to protect others who may never be remembered at all?]
... mm. [his hand flexes, grasping at nothing before he runs it through his hair.] Okay.
['They're not worthy of your protection'. Rang thinks of saying, of lashing out insanely at Buzen for not reacting the way he would have -- like a child hurt by the world, hurt by someone he cared for and trusted.
Instead, he grits his teeth and for once -- for once -- prioritizes Buzen's reaction over his own. At least he's had some practice with Matsui, and with Haru -- their grief and their emotions for once eclipsing his tendency to only focus on himself. So he doesn't tell Buzen to hate or be angry or be more violent. Because he remembers a conversation they had once, that Buzen would never try to change who Rang is -- and in turn, Rang would never do the same.
he can keep his word, unlike some people. he might be a fox and a trickster and someone who feeds on misery, but he won't fit buzen into a little category that everyone else has apparently deigned to put him into. instead, in a very stiff -- affronted way of someone who is trying so hard to control Rage of All Kinds]
[it's almost like he doesn't hear it for a moment, a little too caught in his own thoughts - but it eventually reaches. he blinks once, twice, and then tilts his head.]
...? Okay. Rang.
[a little bit of a listless response, but an obedient one.
because in the end, even now, buzen has a tendency to bend to other people's will.]
[it is not revenge if he is not enjoying this at all? he just hates buzen worse for disassociating?? HIS AXE IS FCKING RUINED HOW DID U GET CUTTTTTT,
which is probably what stops anything worse from happening -- the edges too blunt to cut straight to the bone. it just leaves a nice little cut. rang swings the axe back on his shoulder and watches the blood trickle down buzen's face,]
You fight back when I don't want you to, and stay still when I'd rather you fight. [buzen.......] You didn't let me erase anyone, and you told me I wasn't allowed to threaten anyone with erasure. And even here -- if I told you I wanted to kill the rest of Sweet Theory when they show up, then you'd probably say no to that too.
To me, that's who you are. Someone who doesn't let me do whatever I want, someone who'll disappear at the end of all of this just like me. But you're not someone who will be forgotten, whether by me or her or your Gous. And if we've never met, then that would still be true.
I'm not human -- so maybe my opinion isn't worth anything to a sword like you. Things about existence or whatever -- I don't care. All I know is that I can cut into you as much as I can cut into any other person here, and that makes you real.
... it depends on if they come back. For Sweet Theory, I mean.
[about if sweet theory deserves death when rang wants to kill them. otherwise, he does listen.
though there's something irritated that hits him at the very end of it, mostly because - ]
You shouldn't say stuff like that. That your opinion doesn't matter because you're not human. If I made you feel like that, then I'm sorry. [and while his hand does rest on the hilt of his blade (as if it made its way their reflexively), he doesn't move to draw it]
But it's not that I don't agree with you. [if someone remembers you, then you exist. so for at least right now, buzen is real, because matsui is here. because people have agreed to remember him.] Still - if you try to hit me again, I'll have to kill you. I promised Matsu I won't let anything else kill me. Not even you.
[he just shrugs at the apology, because buzen never made him feel that way so much as rang understands that swords made would have certain priorities in order -- and anyway, if he can dismiss people's opinions solely because they're human, then it'd make sense if the same thing happened to him -- it's happened here once already?
more importantly,]
Good. I'd hate you forever if you made me an exception, or said something about breaking yourself again.
[dryly, but he motions with his free hand that's not holding the axe,]
no subject
buzen's probably watching one of the screens, just eyes focused on it like that'll help him understand anything, or get any closer to the people he wants to help comfort]
Think that's why they went after Lam-san too? [ . . . ] They both hit pretty hard.
no subject
It could be.
Or it could be that they were both strange, and that was reason enough. It's amazing how easy it is to justify erasure, especially when you don't understand the person you're killing.
no subject
[so he can't quite disagree. libby hadn't even expected matsui to want to follow buzen so intensely.]
But I don't think Lam-san and Shen-san are all that strange...
no subject
I don't think they are either. They're very easy to understand.
[in that they have a lot of things in common with rang, not the worst things about him though]
For example, I thought Lambda would be very upset after learning why Libby erased you, and she was. If Matsui hadn't executed her, then I'm sure Lambda would have wanted to do it in his stead.
no subject
She told you?
She told me that it would sound cruel if she told me.... so she didn't. She just told me I mattered, even though she chose to erase me.
[and because this is rang, who is also not quite human - ]
I assumed it's because I'm a weapon.
no subject
he thinks of lambda, and wonders if she'd tell buzen. or if shenhe would. both impassive at first glance, but caring, full of affection in some ways -- all the right ones.]
Not exactly.
[if only libby hadn't tried to be kind. what was the point of kindness if you still tried taking their life? what was the point of telling buzen he mattered if he didn't matter enough?]
It's because she knew about you. That you weren't sure of your existence, as a weapon and as yourself. She weighed your life against those who were certain, and used that to make her choice.
no subject
[the syllable leaves him in a breath, something slow and ever so slightly pained. it's not emotionshare anymore at least. there is a flicker of something in buzen's expression - hurt that passes through his gaze. it is worse than breaking a weapon first. it is more painful.
it is the decision of a human that those not remembered by history, not protected and treasured by humanity, are not worthy of knowing. buzen is a sword lost and forsaken, remembered only by name yes - but how many more humans in the world are similarly never remembered? how many more people and souls are treated as though they never made a mark, simply because they are not known?
if someone remembers you, then you exist.
if no one remembers you, then what happens? was a question buzen was once asked. he didn't know the answer.
he doesn't know the answer to this puzzle either: is it less cruel to destroy a sword that is only known by name, to protect others who may never be remembered at all?]
... mm. [his hand flexes, grasping at nothing before he runs it through his hair.] Okay.
no subject
Instead, he grits his teeth and for once -- for once -- prioritizes Buzen's reaction over his own. At least he's had some practice with Matsui, and with Haru -- their grief and their emotions for once eclipsing his tendency to only focus on himself. So he doesn't tell Buzen to hate or be angry or be more violent. Because he remembers a conversation they had once, that Buzen would never try to change who Rang is -- and in turn, Rang would never do the same.
he can keep his word, unlike some people. he might be a fox and a trickster and someone who feeds on misery, but he won't fit buzen into a little category that everyone else has apparently deigned to put him into. instead, in a very stiff -- affronted way of someone who is trying so hard to control Rage of All Kinds]
Don't call me Rang-san.
[GRITTED TEETH]
Just call me by my name, without that honorific.
[buzen: rang-san
rang: :)
buzen: libby-san
rang: tailsface]
no subject
...? Okay. Rang.
[a little bit of a listless response, but an obedient one.
because in the end, even now, buzen has a tendency to bend to other people's will.]
no subject
that response is even worse than buzen's initial one? so rang does the most sane thing he can think of,]
no subject
no subject
here's rang's revenge
because buzen just rolled a fucking 3 so i guess he's dissociating so bad that rang gets to cut right into his face if he wants]
no subject
which is probably what stops anything worse from happening -- the edges too blunt to cut straight to the bone. it just leaves a nice little cut. rang swings the axe back on his shoulder and watches the blood trickle down buzen's face,]
You fight back when I don't want you to, and stay still when I'd rather you fight. [buzen.......] You didn't let me erase anyone, and you told me I wasn't allowed to threaten anyone with erasure. And even here -- if I told you I wanted to kill the rest of Sweet Theory when they show up, then you'd probably say no to that too.
To me, that's who you are. Someone who doesn't let me do whatever I want, someone who'll disappear at the end of all of this just like me. But you're not someone who will be forgotten, whether by me or her or your Gous. And if we've never met, then that would still be true.
I'm not human -- so maybe my opinion isn't worth anything to a sword like you. Things about existence or whatever -- I don't care. All I know is that I can cut into you as much as I can cut into any other person here, and that makes you real.
no subject
[about if sweet theory deserves death when rang wants to kill them. otherwise, he does listen.
though there's something irritated that hits him at the very end of it, mostly because - ]
You shouldn't say stuff like that. That your opinion doesn't matter because you're not human. If I made you feel like that, then I'm sorry. [and while his hand does rest on the hilt of his blade (as if it made its way their reflexively), he doesn't move to draw it]
But it's not that I don't agree with you. [if someone remembers you, then you exist. so for at least right now, buzen is real, because matsui is here. because people have agreed to remember him.] Still - if you try to hit me again, I'll have to kill you. I promised Matsu I won't let anything else kill me. Not even you.
no subject
more importantly,]
Good. I'd hate you forever if you made me an exception, or said something about breaking yourself again.
[dryly, but he motions with his free hand that's not holding the axe,]
I hurt you, so I'll heal you.
no subject
[and then after a moment of hesitation - ]
Please don’t tell Matsu you were the one to hurt me. I’d rather be the one to break it to him, if that’s okay.
[he thinks that’d be more
bloodless]
no subject
I know better than to tell him that myself. Of course, I'm fine with whatever he decides to do when you do.
[maybe he can die here and revive after two hours, it'd be spiffy. anyway he holds out his hand and furrifies buzen,]