[...It's probably my fault. I made everyone believe I didn't care about either of you.
though in hindsight, that helped him when he spoke to libby, and that saved him from being cursed during trial. but the other conversations still irritate him -- nahri's, livio -- all the others who were concerned that he didn't have matsui's best interests at heart because he accepted that he was going to die.
his focus shifts at buzen's words, and his emotions flash hot in response too, that same anger he's had for weeks now still coiled in his chest.]
I don't want one from her. [She better stay away from me.] Or from the others. I can't trust their words.
[even sweet theory wiping out hasn't lessened his resentment any. not when they got to live for so long, not when they all had some agency in their own deaths. imagine if he and matsui and buzen got the same. wenzhou was killed by those who wanted to save everyone, buzen was killed by someone who only cared about her team. fei du and kyoko got to choose how they'd die -- matsui and him never had a choice. fei du was allowed to keep his rage and grief, validated even when he tried to strike down an innocent child.
no subject
though in hindsight, that helped him when he spoke to libby, and that saved him from being cursed during trial. but the other conversations still irritate him -- nahri's, livio -- all the others who were concerned that he didn't have matsui's best interests at heart because he accepted that he was going to die.
his focus shifts at buzen's words, and his emotions flash hot in response too, that same anger he's had for weeks now still coiled in his chest.]
I don't want one from her. [She better stay away from me.] Or from the others. I can't trust their words.
[even sweet theory wiping out hasn't lessened his resentment any. not when they got to live for so long, not when they all had some agency in their own deaths. imagine if he and matsui and buzen got the same. wenzhou was killed by those who wanted to save everyone, buzen was killed by someone who only cared about her team. fei du and kyoko got to choose how they'd die -- matsui and him never had a choice. fei du was allowed to keep his rage and grief, validated even when he tried to strike down an innocent child.
why couldn't matsui keep his too?]